Criminals

I am incredibly frustrated. Last Monday, I was attacked not far from where I live. I had just come from class when a man ran up to me, grabbed at me and my bookbag, and pulled at my chest. He left me screaming and punched a guy who tried to stop him. The police haven't yet scheduled a time for me to look at mugshots. I've called them everyday except Saturday--the detective has called me twice and never uses my cellphone number. Do they have any interest in solving this case?

To protect myself, I decided to drive into work. Someone hit my car this morning. I suspect it was the car parked behind me. When the police officer came to take my report, he chalked it up to the costs of driving in the city. Then he claimed that Cambridge, MA is safe compared to other places.

Not from where I'm standing, buddy!

I know the police didn't commit the crimes, but they sure aren't aggressively working to catch/punish the criminals out there.

These criminals can invade your space and destroy your property and you have to suck it up and cope (and let go).

The whole thing stinks.

What recourse do the law-abiding citizens have?

It all seems futile to me.

UPDATE: I gave the person who hit my car a chance to 'fess up. No dice. I'm staying on the straight and narrow but it's frustrating to have to spend the time behind these issues when I have homework and lesson prep to complete. And I still haven't heard back from CPD regarding the first incident.

Faith

10-10-10 has come and gone.

I had my first broken bone this year. And I broke another bone less than six months later. Luckily I was able to avoid surgery the second-time around.

Even through all of the broken bones, I feel stronger and surer about where I need to be and what I need to do. It's not going to be easy and it's going to take time to do all the things I want to do, but I am ready.

Thanks for all the support out there on PNN.

Good luck to you all.

Path of Least Resistance

I cannot remember whether it's a nursery rhyme or play that uses the line "Double, double, toil and trouble."

I encountered failure this week when I pushed for things that were not in my best interest. Even with the knowledge that some activities might be taking away from my ability to accomplish "higher" goals, I still pursued paths that were not good.

I am still battling to get back on track after my surgery. I am behind on this week's assignments and some of last week's material as well. I had to push myself to go to class yesterday.

Even so, I feel like I have been rushing from place to place. Spending my rest time unproductively means that I do not get my work done and do not feel adequately rested.

I reached out to some friends today and I'm looking forward to a reprieve tomorrow night. I suppose that means that I can be productive tonight (and maybe put on the Winter Olympics while working through homework).

I do not think the universe is against me. Sometimes I think I am working against myself. I wonder what you all think taking the path of least resistance means?

I found myself fussing and chasing after things all week--losing time and patience. I do not want to be like that. I cannot be my best when I am feeling frustrated. I am open to your thoughts/advice.

Lesson 4: Putting the Pieces Back Together

I am broken in more ways than one. It's time to start putting the pieces back together again.

My clavicle still hasn't been fixed. I ducked out of surgery two weeks ago and it's very likely that at my next appointment, the doctor will recommend surgery again.

I am afraid of surgery. Yes, I am afraid of the knife but I also think I'd feel like less of a fool if the bone could heal on its own. The surgical scar, plate, and screws would be a permanent reminder of my own foolishness. I'd prefer to deal with a little bump underneath my skin. We'll see what happens at MGH tomorrow.

I did have time to register for a few math classes this spring. I am not going to lie--the thought of going back to school to take real classes with homework is terrifying. As a teacher/tutor, I can revel in knowing all the answers. The vulnerabilities of being a mere student are daunting, though I would love to work and earn some 'A's in these classes. I am taking a walk of faith here.

To make matters more challenging, I agreed to work with a student who needs help with stochastic calculus for finance. I have got to be ready by Wednesday--I am shaking already.

I had to put off my trip to San Francisco (re-prioritize) and I have no idea how I'm going to pay for all of these new expenses. Thank God for insurance and credit cards. In the meantime, I'm ready to take on some new assignments.

My social life will take a little hit, but I'm not that sad about that. Getting my career on track is worth the social deprivation.

I am going to be missing my first math lecture tonight, but hopefully I'll be able to stay on track.

I think prayer, planning, and discipline are going to be key. I'm pressing on.

Lesson 3: Stuff Happens

I had an unfortunate spill today and broke my clavicle.

My roommate had to take me to the hospital and now I have got a sling on.

WARNING: I am a terrible patient!

I was given some pain medicine, but I haven't taken anything yet. I've had half a Snapple. I'm sitting up--afraid that if I lay down and fall asleep, I'll be stiff and in pain in the morning.

I still want to get my work done tomorrow (but I know I can't play for the rest of the season--in either league, Sun/Mon, now). We'll see how I'm feeling in the morning.

I called my family and friends and everyone was sympathetic and supportive. But get this, before the game my dad called me from the emergency room (200+ miles away in NYC) with a broken toe. We both got injured on the same day! And I can remember thinking, "I should tell everyone to be safe. We don't want any injuries." Lo and behold, I get injured in the first half.

Lesson learned: stuff happens. Amazingly, I am pretty calm right now.

It was definitely stupid and avoidable, but in time I'll be fine.

Now, I can get a lot of writing and reading done (or eating and movie watching). What a way to go about shifting priorities.

Life is a comedy.

Lesson 2: Priorities

Even though I have a planner with meetings scheduled in, I am not as productive as I should be. 

I have failed to set priorities.

As a result, I manage to keep on top of pre-programmed activities (tutoring appointments, soccer practices/games, and volunteering) but fail to finish my other work...and it drags on. I have become disorganized and I have to go searching for keys, receipts, clothes, and important papers. It wasn't always like this.

I have to stop making excuses and I need to change my bad habits. There are too many times when I let options become priorities. I need to embrace discipline.

Great! Let's see how far along I get today...

Lesson 1: Patience

Tonight my tutoring student sent me a message to let me know that her bus was running behind schedule as I was on my way over to our 5pm meeting. I waited and we started our meeting 15 minutes late.

Then I rushed over to my 7:30pm soccer practice. Guess what? No one else was there. I received a message from one teammate--she said she'd be coming over in 20 minutes. I waited and waited and waited. I started to get frustrated. I thought about leaving. But close to 8:30pm that teammate and another new team member showed up and we had a 40 minute practice.

**

I suppose I learned something about patience today.  I am so used to valuing time--in terms of money, tasks accomplished--that it actually took some resolve to wait. Though I didn't gripe too much, I wasn't joyful either.

Waiting joyfully--that's what I need to work on next time...

Making Resolutions

It's 2010.

I have never been the type of person who makes resolutions, but this year has to be different.

I can reflect on all the good things in my life, the people I love, and the things I've done--and it's just not enough.

In the last few years, I've tried to keep busy. I enjoy my work. I would work for free if I could do that and still pay my bills. In fact, I did work for free for two years and I took on another part-time job to pay the bills. But when my "free work period" came to an end, all I had to show for it were some unfinished projects and more dreams. I don't regret spending the time the way I did, but there's got to be a better way.

And while working day and night, I found myself thinking--who would put up with me and my schedule? But I did meet some fun people who were up for hanging out a bit. I have got to say that it was nice and a lot easier to find time to be together than I thought it would be.

So here I am: 25, single, employed. I have got all the opportunity in the world and this year I'm looking to make some real changes.

The superficial stuff is in place--I am traveling a bit (NYC, San Francisco, Washington, D.C., Buenos Aires), playing soccer, going out for karaoke, joining a book club. I've always been good at staying occupied.

But I need to make some internal changes and confront things from the past--I am sure that will be much harder. On my own, I don't think it would be possible to get past my fears and failures. So, here's my secret--I'm reaching out to God and I guess this is my testimony--I believe I'll get through this disquietude and accomplish my purpose.

This is my pledge to you--as I move through the year, I'll let you know what I've learned and how I'm doing. Please feel free to let me know about how your year is going and I welcome any counsel you're willing to provide along this journey. Thanks!